Jon Stewart was simply as shocked by the presidential election consequence as you have been. Within the quick aftermath, the part-time “Every day Present” host was in a position to collect himself sufficient to vow that one other Donald Trump presidency “will not be the tip.”
Final week was about mourning — and hopefully, some consolation — this week is about determining simply what the fuck went fallacious. Stewart spent a lot of Monday night time’s episode analyzing precisely that. One key takeaway: “Democrats by no means as soon as talked about Arnold Palmer’s c**okay.”
Although which may be the biggie, there have been additionally different potentialities, like how the Harris marketing campaign blew a lot of its $1 billion in funding on a silly floor sport.
“You realize if there’s one factor folks love, greater than somebody showing randomly at their door as soon as, it’s that very same f**king individual coming again two or 3 times to speak politics,” Stewart mentioned. “Regardless that everybody from vacuum salesmen to Jehovah’s Witnesses is aware of that’s a dropping technique — actually, they’ve know that for many years — let’s simply spend 1 / 4 of a billion {dollars} on it.”
If there’s any cash left over, Stewart suggests sending the road workforce members again to the exact same doorways one final time to ask, “What the f**okay, Scott?”
(Critically, Scott, did you even vote?)
It appears Democrats had all the pieces able to roll to make sure a “free and honest election” — Stewart’s phrases — aside from the voters.
“It seems the election was stolen,” Stewart mentioned, “by extra folks voting for Donald Trump! It’s fairly a caper.”
However why was it such a beatdown? Stewart doesn’t personally subscribe to the speculation that People have been bored with the “woke” nature of the left.
“They didn’t do the woke factor — they tried. They acted like Republicans for the final 4 months. They wore camo hats and went to Cheney household reunions,” Stewart mentioned of the Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. “Have you learnt how harmful it’s to put on a searching hat round Cheneys?”
With the jokes got here reassurance.
“This isn’t ceaselessly,” Stewart advised his Comedy Central crowd. “We don’t know what’s gonna occur in 4 years — in any respect.”
Stewart/Colbert 2028? Watch the phase right here: