You know the way there’s all the time that one movie that you just by no means assume is going to develop into one in all your all-time favorites, however then it sweeps the rug from underneath you and instantly it’s all you may take into consideration? Yeah, that was me with Black Swan once I was a child.
Whereas the movie is definitely not a brand new one on the 2025 film schedule, it’s one which I’ve revisited up to now – and have determined to once more this yr, in honor of its fifteenth anniversary. They’re even re-releasing it for a restricted time in theaters on August twenty first and twenty fourth.
It’s actually been years since I’ve seen this movie, and I’ve to confess that I’ve modified loads from the final time I watched it. Whereas it’s definitely nonetheless one of many greatest psychological thrillers of the previous couple of many years, I began to note simply how a lot I…felt strongly about this movie, and the truth that it dug deeper into my thoughts than ever earlier than. Let’s speak about it.
Black Swan Has At all times Been One Of My Favorites
Earlier than I get into this, I’m going to be sincere and say Black Swan is one in all my favourite movies, and it has been for a very long time. I genuinely consider that that is one in all Natalie Portman’s greatest movies and, not solely that, I feel it’s additionally one in all Darron Aronofsky’s greatest motion pictures as properly.
I nonetheless bear in mind the primary time that I watched it, which, to be sincere, I most likely shouldn’t have, as a result of when this movie got here out, I wasn’t even 13 but. However, I used to be house alone, and I used to be going via my dad and mom’ DVD assortment, and located it. I would heard tremendous nice issues, so I made a decision to look at.
I’m fairly positive it altered my mind chemistry in a method that can’t be undone, even now, fifteen years later.
I used to be clearly shocked by the dancing as a result of, wow, I had by no means seen such lovely ballet on the time. The larger pull this movie had on me was via the story, the way it confirmed the wonder and insanity of perfection. I don’t assume it fairly related as a lot in my head as a pre-teen, however I knew this was a movie for the ages.
Now, rewatching it in my twenties…one thing simply…clicked.
I By no means Realized Simply How A lot I Related To Nina Till Now
So, for individuals who want a refresher, Nina is the primary character. Performed by Natalie Portman, the movie follows the story of a ballerina who strives for perfection every single day as she competes to develop into the prima ballerina and have the highlight on her throughout a manufacturing of Swan Lake at Lincoln Heart.
The movie total, with none context of the themes we dive into, is already one thing up my alley as somebody who loves the greatest dance motion pictures and the perfect fashionable musicals, something that has something to do with music and dance is an on the spot win in my guide. Upon rewatching this movie, I solely began to understand that now…I join much more with Nina. Like…to a degree the place I’m just a little involved.
Alright, so perhaps it’s not scary and I’m overreacting just a little, however honestly, that’s how I felt because the movie progressed. I felt for her because the younger one of many group, attempting to show herself always to those that felt higher, seemed higher, and carried out higher than her.
I felt that fixed doubt that all the time dragged her down. Certain, I by no means went so far as she did with vices with a view to take care of them, as we see her slip additional and additional because the movie goes on. The voice at the back of your thoughts, although, that claims you aren’t ok, to the purpose the place it feels such as you’re combating your self? That’s actual. That’s uncooked. And it’s the reality.
The Thought Of Attempting To Attain Perfection So A lot That It Hurts You Is Harrowing
In truth, the Black Swan ending haunts me to today. It didn’t essentially sit tremendous properly with me again then, and it’s one that also doesn’t at this time. I feel again then it was as a result of I used to be just a little freaked out by the blood and the gradual fade of her life after she dove off the stage – little me wasn’t seasoned by the perfect horror motion pictures but.
Now it sits with me as a result of I really feel, in a method, we’ve got all skilled this – or, on the very least, I’ve. Perhaps to not this extent, the place I’m actually bleeding out on the bottom as a result of I strived for perfection so laborious. However there have been loads of occasions that I’ve felt like I’ve bodily harmed myself as a result of I’m doing far an excessive amount of, for much too little and with barely any features for my very own life, all as a result of I’m attempting to be excellent.
I might consider one million examples from my life. One could be attempting to excellent my knife abilities as a house chef as a result of I’ve a ardour for cooking, the greatest cooking channels, all these baking exhibits, and extra. Sooner or later, I used to be going too quick with a knife, and I ended up within the emergency room needing stitches for my thumb, as a result of I wished to be faster and extra environment friendly behind the counter.
One other instance could be me with tennis. Whereas I’m not a sports activities star in any respect, I benefit from the greatest sports activities motion pictures and the occasional romp on the courtroom. There was a time, although, once I was obsessed with changing into good on the sport as a result of my boyfriend had performed for years. Nonetheless, I went too laborious at some point, took a foul flip, and partially ripped via 4 tendons in my foot. I used to be fortunate I didn’t want surgical procedure after, however the restoration course of felt practically not possible.
Striving for perfection is persistently the producer of my ache, and this film made me come to that conclusion.
The Gradual Deterioration Of The Thoughts Feels Reflective Of Trendy-Day Perfectionism With Me
That is one other factor that many individuals who watch this movie can now relate to. Once more, I’m hoping that nobody is experiencing the extraordinary psychological decline that Nina experiences within the film as a result of no one deserves that. The best way her thoughts deteriorates as a result of of her want for perfection feels just a little too near house these days.
I imply, give it some thought. We dwell in a social age. There are such a lot of folks on-line who’re always attempting to place up the perfect image on Instagram, the perfect reel on Fb, the perfect video on TikTok, however we don’t know the individual behind the display screen. We solely see what they need us to.
Fact be advised, there may be a lot we don’t know in regards to the emotions and the minds of those that always put their life on a stage for folks to see. Oftentimes, they is perhaps going via one thing regardless of a picture of perfection they current, and I feel it’s actually as much as us to discern that.
I’ve completed that. I’m positive hundreds of thousands of others have as properly. This movie exhibits the way you by no means actually know what somebody goes via till you look behind the display screen.
It is Actually Sort Of Regarding That I’ve Felt This Method, And I Surprise If Others Do Too
Okay, perhaps regarding isn’t the best phrase, but it surely’s…fascinating. Part of me has puzzled why I’ve felt this fashion about this movie for years, and it’s peculiar that watching it now, years later, is what actually opened it as much as me.
I’ve been striving to be excellent all my life. Whereas I don’t assume I’m or ever will probably be, this film was a harrowing reminder that I have to cease working so laborious to be excellent. It’s okay to take a break and breathe when it seems like issues are getting uncontrolled. We are able to attempt to choose up a load of sand as a lot as we would like, however on the finish of the day, if nothing is holding it collectively, the grains will slip via our fingers each time.
If we preserve attempting to be excellent with nothing serving to us, then we’re nothing however grains of sand, attempting to remain collectively fruitlessly. Shockingly, this film made me notice that. It makes me marvel who else has gone via this as properly, and if others join simply as a lot to Nina as I’ve. Nicely…solely time will inform.