Ghosts Season 5 arrives on the 2025 TV schedule October 16, so the wait is nearly over to find out whether Jay’s days really are numbered after accidentally selling his soul to Elias. It’s an exciting prospect, but also one I might not have cared much about just a couple of weeks ago, before I decided to catch up on Ghosts via a binge-watch with my Paramount+ subscription.
I’d been a fan of Ghosts back in the early days, when I asked Asher Grodman about playing the pants-free Trevor and co-showrunner Joe Wiseman about Randy the rollerblading pickle guy. But then my Thursday nights got busy, Ghosts got bumped, and I fell behind. But I’m back now, and after bingeing my way to the Season 4 finale, I have a set of recurring jokes that I’m dying to see more of.
Hell’s Limited Playlist
The suggestive Ghosts lingo expanded from just “sucked off” to include “went down on us” as soon as Elias was banished to Hell, but it wasn’t until late Season 2 that one of my very favorite jokes popped up. According to Hetty’s evil ex-husband, there’s one song that plays on repeat down below, and that song is none other than Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping.” Like Trevor, I love that song, but the constant refrain of “I get knocked down, but I get up again” playing over and over again in Hell is pretty perfect.
Stephanie Crushing On Trevor
Stephanie was killed by an axe murderer in the ’80s to become a teen ghost, and she’s devoted a lot of her afterlife to hitting on Trevor since they were born in the same year. Unfortunately for Stephanie, Trevor died in his 30s, and spending eternity without pants doesn’t mean he’s the kind of guy to go for a prom-bound teenager. His efforts to rebuff her while literally unable to escape her are always funny, as far as I’m concerned.
Hetty’s Gilded Age Attitude
Even in the 21st century, the ghosts are products of their times, and I truly hope Hetty never loses all of her Gilded Age ways. Sure, it’s good that she’s outgrown some of her old lifestyle, but Rebecca Wisocky’s offhand delivery of lines about medicinal cocaine, child labor and stable boys make Hetty my MVP for callbacks to her time. If she’s lucky, perhaps someday she’ll encounter a ghost who did, in fact, die with pockets full of cocaine.
Thor’s Insistence On “Land Ships”
In many ways, Thor seems like he’s pretty effectively resisted losing any of his habits from his time as a living. Then, he’ll be able to rattle off modern terms without a problem, with the exception of still saying “land ship” for car. The joke fell flat after a while… until Pete’s annoyance made me realize that Thor was doing it on purpose just to mess with his fellow dead in the house.
Nobody Gets Sucked Off
The ghosts have been finding closure going back to Season 1, yet none of the key characters have been sucked off to the afterlife. The real reason is likely that the ghosts are played by CBS series regulars and therefore about as safe from being sucked off as characters on other shows are safe from being killed off, but it’s still funny whenever one of them thinks that it’s their time, only to realize they’re still in the mansion.
Jay’s Sonic Obsession
I may love Hetty constantly yearning for Gilded Age medicinal cocaine, but Jay’s addiction to Sonic may be even funnier. The ghosts’ utter disdain for his love of fast food would be the best part of this recurring joke, if not for the fact that Ghosts does not seem to ever have been sponsored by the restaurant chain. It’s not a plug like the Amazon Prime product placement – Jay just really, really, really likes Sonic specifically.
Sam’s A Christmas Queen
One of Sam’s most consistent traits is that she just loves Christmas, to the point of getting presents for the ghosts and trying to engineer a Hallmark Christmas movie-esque love story for her sister-in-law. It’s a fun nod to leading lady Rose McIver’s starring role in Netflix’s A Christmas Prince films, which were popular enough that even Netflix called some people out for watching the OG movie on repeat.
Hetty Hates Mamie Fish
While Hetty loathes her husband from The Gilded Age, her real nemesis from her time as a living was clearly fellow socialite Mamie Fish, and I live for the pettiness that Hetty hasn’t let go of over 100+ years. The history books may tell us some things about Mamie Fish, but only Hetty can reveal the lack of comeliness of her ankles.
The Ghosts’ Modern Vices
All the ghosts in Woodstone love watching movies, but that’s not the only 21st century perk that they take advantage of whenever possible. Sassapis’ love of pepperoni pizza is one of my favorites, but I’d definitely join Thor on the couch for a full binge of It’s Getting Hot in Here. Alberta can’t get enough of magazines featuring spreads of Jason Momoa, and I of course can’t forget to mention Hetty discovering perks of the Woodstone washing machine.
Trevor And The Cutting Edge
Ghosts really succeeds when one of its running jokes is also incredibly specific and very random. For Jay, it’s Sonic. For Trevor, it’s a classic 1982 figure skating/hockey movie by the name of The Cutting Edge. Trevor died in late 2000, which means that he was alive for the releases of iconic ‘90s movies like Titanic, Forrest Gump, and Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace. But the movie he mentions again and again? The Cutting Edge.
Pete Wants Jay To Die
The star-crossed friendship of Ghosts has to be Pete and Jay, who are doomed to exist on different planes of existence… unless, of course, Jay dies on the property and sticks around instead of being sucked off to the afterlife. Even when Jay could temporarily see ghosts, Pete wasn’t among them for a chat. It’s pretty clear that Jay dying and becoming a ghost could be the best thing that happened to Pete since discovering his ghost power.
Thor Hates Alberta’s Hat
My favorite Thor joke for a long time was just how much he hates Danes despite being dead for more than 1,000 years, but his habit of insulting Alberta’s hat finally beat out his hatred of his mortal enemies. It’s clear why he disdains the Danes; he has no good reason for taking shots at Alberta’s “small and ugly” hat other than being petty, and I laugh every time. Maybe it reminds him of Dane headwear?
The Cholera Ghosts Love The Basement
Compared to the cholera ghosts who haunt the basement, even the permanently pants-free Trevor and the wolf urine-scented Thor seem downright glamorous. Still, other than Nancy coming upstairs to hang with the main eight and the occasional invasion from below, the cholera ghosts seem pretty content sticking in their standing-room only basement home with the water heater and the ants.
Ghosts returns for Season 5 on Thursday, October 16 at 8:30 p.m. ET on CBS, between Georgie & Mandy’s First Marriage at 8 p.m. ET and Kathy Bates’ Matlock at 10 p.m. ET. You can also stream episodes next day via Paramount+.