Nikki Glaser‘s greatest joke, as host of the celebrity-steered 2025 Golden Globes, was half a joke. Technically, I’d estimate it was nearer to one-eighth of a joke, given “Common” is roughly 4 minutes lengthy, and Glaser’s “Conclave”/”Depraved” mash-up parody lasted all of 30 seconds. “You… will… be… pope-ular,” Glaser sang, adorned in a bubblegum pink robe, holding a golden employees, and topped with a tall, white, papal mitre, earlier than the music lower out for a pretend emergency message from producers, who merely needed to intervene as a result of “this entire factor sucks.” When she acquiesced to their calls for and requested to maneuver on to the subsequent quantity — “Insane within the Pen-gwain” — these cowardly, imaginary producers advised her to skip that one, too.
Frankly, I just like the a part of the joke that suggests a tune parody of two nominees in the course of the awards present is corny, compelled, and done-to-death. However I just like the a part of the joke that did the rattling factor anyway extra. In spite of everything, “Conclave” is a movie in regards to the hazard of certainty, particularly when held by people who’re courting energy by way of well-liked opinion, and “Depraved” actually offers the tune titled, “Common,” so why not give the viewers a verse or two of authentic lyrics drawing comical but becoming consideration to the 2 nominated movies’ surprising similarities? You may nonetheless get to the joke about how foolish it’s to be singing a “dangerous” parody tune in entrance of Elton John, however it could’ve been even funnier if, by that time, it had been clearly established the tune was really fairly good. And who is aware of, perhaps just a few folks at dwelling would’ve sought out “Conclave” (now streaming on Peacock) merely due to its newfound proximity to the immensely profitable “Depraved.”
General, Glaser did a advantageous job as host, and the Golden Globes did a advantageous job, too. (Each had been an enormous step up from final yr’s catastrophe.) As hammered dwelling by Seth Rogen and Catherine O’Hara — in a presenters’ bit that did the rattling factor after which some — these aren’t the Oscars. There are numerous honors increased than profitable orb-adorned statues of a lot decrease high quality than they seem, and the 2025 telecast leaned into its “get together of the yr” designation — not by being further rowdy, however by designing itself like a mid-tech superstar surveillance system, the place onscreen arrows acted like a “Discover My [Celebrity] Pal” app and the unsuspecting luminaries in attendance had been crammed into the body as typically as doable, all the higher for viewers’ to leer at, research, and meme.
Good for them — or, extra precisely, good for CBS, which is hoping the Globes proceed to attract first rate viewership, even when airing towards the almighty NFL. It’s a secure wager that no matter viewers are nonetheless watching dwell awards reveals at dwelling are doing so to see all of the well-known faces, and the Globes are higher positioned than different awards reveals to parade these faces in entrance of us with fewer interruptions from boring ol’ administrators, editors, and writers (ugh).
However amongst all of the star gawking, the Globes drifted a bit too removed from their official objective: honoring movie (and tv). The opening monologue was dictated by who was within the viewers, not what they had been in. (“Tonight we have fun the most effective of movie and maintain area for tv,” more true, vaguer phrases haven’t been spoken, and many others. and many others.) The telecast was fixated on folks over tasks, excising clips from every nominated efficiency in favor of enjoyable details within the chyrons and spoken by the in-house announcer. (“Along with performing, Vin Diesel is keen about Dungeons and Dragons.”) The scripted intros rolled out some painfully superficial doozys — Gal Gadot saying, “In an evening that’s featured some wonderful moments… let’s proceed with the amazingness”?! — and the chintzy graphics bundle, clumsy digital camera angles, and traditional stage backdrop didn’t elevate the artwork as a lot as they elevated every speaker simply excessive sufficient to be seen clearly.
Even the honorary awards, given to Ted Danson (the Carol Burnett Award) and Viola Davis (the Cecil B. DeMille Award), had been handed out on Saturday, actually taking honor off the air. (Who needs to listen to from two beloved actors who’re additionally sensible public audio system anyway?)
Pay attention, I get it. The Golden Globes aren’t that prestigious. (Actually not prestigious sufficient to warrant Zoe Saldaña’s sob-heavy acceptance speech. Higher off had been Oscar hopefuls Kieran Culkin, who hit precisely the fitting vibe — “a few fast thank yous, after which I’ll piss off” — and Demi Moore, who delivered the best model of a “don’t you need to see me on the Oscars?” set-up speech.) It’s a precursor awards present in a season crammed with them, and its most important claims to fame are how early it declares the winners, how lengthy it’s been operating, and what number of drinks may be handed out within the Beverly Hills ballroom.
However there’s a cause Moore and Margaret Qualley’s presenters’ intro fell flat, and it’s not as a result of they didn’t know the place to look. It’s as a result of a joke utterly depending on figuring out what “The Substance” is about didn’t make sense throughout an evening dictated extra by popular culture than movie tradition (not to mention TV tradition). If the Globes persevered by way of all of the scandals as a result of it’s nonetheless a big scores draw and might thus nonetheless higher acquaint audiences with the yr’s greatest movies and TV reveals, then on the finish of the night time, shouldn’t we all know slightly bit extra in regards to the movies and TV reveals they honored? On the very least, shouldn’t I’ve seen one scene from “The Brutalist?” Heard one line of dialogue from “Hacks”? Or know what “Emilia Perez” is about?
Perhaps not. Perhaps figuring out a Netflix film received a handful of Golden Globes is sufficient to get folks to choose up their telephones, add it to their queue, after which return to watching “Squid Sport.” Perhaps merely having the primary few bars of “Common” caught in my head for one more week is celebration sufficient for “Depraved,” winner of the Golden Globes’ inaugural Cinematic and Field Workplace Achievement honor. However I can’t assist considering if the telecast put slightly extra emphasis on the films (and TV!) that Hollywood loves, maybe that love would unfold past Hollywood.
Wannabe popes need to be well-liked, too.
Grade: B-
The 82nd Golden Globe Awards had been held Sunday, January 6 on the Beverly Hilton Lodge in Los Angeles, CA. They aired on CBS and streamed through Paramount+. Dick Clark Productions, which owns and produces the Golden Globes, is a Penske Media firm. PMC can be IndieWire’s dad or mum firm.