A full decade after Dakota Johnson helped carry erotic romances to the mainstream, she’s set to romance each Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans in Celine Track’s Materialists, which is maybe probably the most snuggly-looking of all of the upcoming A24 films on the 2025 film schedule and past. Whereas selling the film, nonetheless, Johnson fesssed as much as a prank that is on the other finish of the snuggly-wuggly spectrum. As a result of there’s nothing comforting or romantic a few gallon of gorilla shit, amirite?
Johnson wasn’t talking about any of the scenes that may pop up in Materialists, fortunately, however was collaborating in a Self-importance Honest lie detector take a look at, the place she was requested a litany of questions on her profession and private life. Which led to the next hilarious trade:
- INTERVIEWER: Talking of friendship, you as soon as despatched a person who broke your pal’s coronary heart a gallon of gorilla shit. Are you able to affirm or deny this occurred?
- DAKOTA JOHNSON: I imply, there is no approach that he would watch this, so sure, I did do this. And it has been fairly some time. It has been some years.
I’ve by no means watched an interview with the expectation {that a} movie star will go on the file and admit to having any quantity of nice ape’s waste delivered to an undesirable particular person, however I assume that modifications after right now. So…I assume…thanks, Dakota Johnson?
I do provide genuinely honest gratitude to the Madame Net vet for making me snort as laborious as I did throughout the whole lie detector interview, however particularly whereas fessing as much as such a sordid type of revenge. The trade continued with:
- INTERVIEWER: How would one order one thing like that? Asking for a pal.
- DAKOTA JOHNSON: Shitsenders.com. You may order any sort, any dimension.
- INTERVIEWER: Truthful.
I do know that is going to be absolutely the worst phrasing to make use of on the present second, however I completely adore Johnson’s shit-eating grin that slowly creeps up as she names the web site accountable for such smelly accomodations.
Many people, little question, have been both caught within the act of doing one thing fully immature and vindictive, or have needed to admit to such habits, and have been unable to keep away from smiling whereas taking accountability. No must dwell on any of my very own examples, which undoubtedly do not contain gorilla shit.
In any case, I am prepared to go on the file with my prediction that Dakota Johnson’s new film will characteristic fewer than 3 scenes the place characters focus on mailing animal feces to pals’ exes. Fewer than 2, even. I really feel like all of the optimistic early reactions to Materialists would have talked about these in the event that they happen.
Have a look under at a trailer for the romantic comedy, which is a style that Johnson and Pedro Pascal each take critically.
Materialists hits theaters on June 13, and when you’re planning on taking a date to see it, transfer would most likely be to be sure you can pinpoint and determine which of their pals appears most certainly to spend cash on delivering a gallon of shit to somebody. And you then ship THAT particular person a gallon of shit as a warning. Or possibly simply go watch this film with none of that different stuff.