Be Still My Heart, ER — Six Seasons In, You've Broken Me (But I Love It)!

How is that ER watching going for this first-time viewer, you may be wondering?

Well, six seasons into ER have sent me into an emotional tailspin unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

Yes, this is about that iconic ER Season 6 two-parter that most likely left viewers utterly traumatized. So, if you’re new to the series and haven’t reached “Be Still My Heart” and “All in the Family” yet, turn back now!

It’s Clear Why ER Still Holds Up 30 Years Later

Thus far, ER has been magnificent. What’s been so fascinating throughout this watch is noticing just how ahead of its time the series has been in every aspect: camera work, subject matter, how it approaches storytelling, and the vehicles it uses to do so, and having this incredible cast that never seems to hit a snag in any way.

ER has thus far been just grounded enough as a series not to feel too manufactured. It’s been great storytelling without feeling as if they’re deliberately manipulating the viewer’s emotions. Grey’s Anatomy? No, ER is very clearly the blueprint by which few have been able to live up to since. I get that now.

And all of these big story arcs that hit the airwaves 25 and 30 years ago still have an impact and hold up.

Because the sheer adrenaline coursing through my veins at midnight as I tuned in again during a bout of insomnia is the type of thing a TV Fanatic lives for.

ER Season 6 Episode 13 is one of the most memorable installments of the series yet — the series at its absolute finest, television as a medium at its absolute finest. It’s a Valentine’s Day Massacre of sorts, as the heartbreaking ordeal of watching two sweet children lose their parents and become orphans in the span of an hour was devastating and gripping.

ER’s Valentine’s Day Massacre is Unforgettable

The exploration of how young kids have to process grief and trauma — the shocking news of the death of loved ones has already evoked so many emotions. And it was particularly compelling that Luka (my new favorite addition to the series!) and Carol are the ones who have to go through this with these children.

Luka, as this mysterious figure who lost his entire family to war and still carries that with him, leaves me aching to know more about his experience. He’s still too young to have experienced that type of pain and loss, yet here he is, ushering children through it as healthily as possible.

It’s important to him. Meanwhile, for a new single mother, Carol, the reality of being here today and gone tomorrow, and of orphaning children, is sobering, hitting her in the face as she watches these two children be stronger than they should have to be.

Abby once again faces her recurring struggle — letting patients make choices about their care, and thus, losing her first senior-aged patient is tragically beautiful.

Lucy’s Death Still Hurts and Haunts

But, no. Of course, ER couldn’t stop there!

Because the Paul Sobriki storyline has been quietly building up in the background, lost in the utter chaos of one of the busiest days of the ER, until it hits in the end like a sledgehammer, and MY heart was still for a few seconds before it pounded into overdrive!

What elicited a bigger gasp, Carter falling to the floor in agony, or panning out to Lucy bleeding out on the floor? I’ll never really know.

The gasping and shouting came in waves by then. And I had to pause the episode to see who directed because said director was diabolical. It was Laura Innes — reinforcing my belief that actors really do make the best directors. I’m just saying.

Of course, that’s before Jonathan Kaplan said, “Hold my director’s cap” and proceeded to deliver the master stroke of direction on TV with “All in the Family.” Yes, I nerded out about this.

But back to Lucy! What’s effective about this reveal for me is that Lucy Knight is a character who took a long time to grow on me. She was a bit annoying at times. I cannot even remember the exact moment I fully embraced the character, which is what makes her death so impactful and realistic.

This Death Is Strong Storytelling Rather Than Just for Shock Value

It’s how you never fully appreciate someone until they’re gone, or you take their presence in your life for granted.

And suddenly, the ER is short a spunky pint-sized doctor with heart, who did, in fact, make a difference!

The constant combative dynamic between her and Carter irked me for a while, but it took a corner. So the fact that it flared up again right before this tragedy should have been a warning, and certainly makes their attack more devastating. The guilt! The grief! The pain!

Everything about this works so well because, while it’s not the first time ER has placed one of its own in a harrowing situation, it is the first time the stakes have shifted this much, and the impact is undeniable.

This Tragedy Reinforces Why Kerry is So Invaluable

It’s no secret that Kerry Weaver is one of my favorite characters on this series. And she was easily going to deliver the type of reactions that I desperately needed after this!

For six seasons, I’ve watched the bigwigs screw this woman over administratively, or people act as if she’s too much of a hardass, even though my girl runs that ER like the Navy when she’s there.

Kerry and Mark are the mom and dad of the ER. But when they’re away, the children play, and it usually ends in catastrophe. Hell, it’s how one of my other favorite episodes, “Exodus,” panned out — Carter stepping up in a crisis in the absence of others with more authority.

Kerry, weaving her way through the hospital, reminding people to turn down the music and stop partying, had me cheering —finally, an adult in the room!

Forever an ER MVP

But then it took so long for her to get to that damn room before she discovered Lucy and Carter, and the horror on her face will be burned into my brain until the end of time. Truthfully, nearly the entirety of “All in the Family” will be.

It’s through Kerry that all my feelings were validated onscreen and expressed so thoroughly — the anger and frustration at everyone, yes, the blame, the irritation. Intensity and anxiety? Oh, my friends, it’s all swirling around like a fancy cocktail of emotions.

WHY IS THE MUSIC SO LOUD? WHY ARE WE THROWING A PARTY? WHO NEEDS A BUTCHER KNIFE FOR A BLUE HEART CAKE? WHERE THE HELL IS PSYCH? WHY ARE ELIZABETH AND MARK SINGING?

The best moments of any medical drama are when the cases hit too close to home because it’s one of their own. It’s when the humanity in the heroes emerges — they’re not just robots healing people and shipping them out the door; they’re not practicing emotional detachment. No, they’re still very much human!

A Close to Home Trauma Rattles Characters and Results in Compelling Exploration for All

Training doesn’t prepare you to crack open the chest of a resident you were just teaching or to ensure your favorite mentee can still walk again. “I’m glad it’s you.” Excuse me, Carter, now is not the time for so many Carter/Benson feelings!

Actually, it is, it totally is. I’m a goner.

There’s blood everywhere, Kerry is soaked in it, it’s all over the floors, the police have crime scene tape up, and everyone is rattled. The POLICE are rattled! It’s a bloody Valentine’s Day indeed — the truest, rawest, most real depiction of a holiday that has become about little candy hearts.

And my heart is breaking — shattered, really — and it hurts SO good because goodness, ER knows how to deliver all the emotions at once!

It’s the character-rich moments that kept me glued to the screen most. Malucci, always a wise guy, was so off-kilter that he couldn’t even bring himself to joke the same way. The nurses are panicking. Luka locks in. Mark is barely processing.

When TV Deaths Are Meaningful (Please, Modern TV, Take Notes)!

A contemptible Romano, who someone just called out for only showing compassion for his dog, suddenly is tenderly sewing Lucy up after struggling to save her. Maybe Romano has a heart after all; maybe Romano has won my heart after all.

Corday holds those paddles like they’re heavy, like her entire world has shifted on its axis. She sinks into that couch at home as if she’s silently praying for it to swallow her up whole because what did she just witness? What did she just lose?!

Benson only sees Carter, his intern, his resident, his mentee — barreling down the stairs and hallway as if it’s not real until he sees it himself. Peter does not often panic or show his affection overtly, but this? It doesn’t need to be stated that if Peter loses Carter, it would devastate him in ways we couldn’t begin to understand, and I’m living for it!

It’s the subtle ways this tragedy rocks the hospital and its staff that’s most compelling, and thus Lucy’s death isn’t just for shock value — it takes root in the series; clearly, it’s this unspoken turning point.

The Fallout and Aftermath Feels Like a Fundamental (Fascinating) Change for the Series

No, this isn’t like Dennis Gant, who suffered silently and died offscreen. Lucy’s death? The violence and trauma? It’s confronting. There’s no shaking it off and simply moving on again.

Her murder happened in their home, and her ghost will haunt the halls because of it. And Carter? I’ve heard the whispers about him being one of network television’s most tragic characters.

It’s clear how we got here — Carter is permanently scarred (literally and figuratively), and the stress for what’s to come with him only grows more intense.

I don’t think ER could ever really be the same after this — I know I can’t be.

It’s fundamentally changed my ER-watching experience… again. And that’s something that keeps happening — this show has a wonderful way of reinventing itself while still delivering the same quality that keeps me hooked.

It leaves me in constant awe, and also frustration because this is what storytelling is about — it’s starting to feel like a lost art. But that’s a conversation for another day and piece.

I feel like I’ve reached a critical moment in the series. The energy feels different, the stakes are infinitely higher, the quality, and where things could go? Richer. And damn if I’m not excited about what’s to come and wary, too.

What Was This Moment Like for You?

Over to you, ER Fanatics. Anyone else watching this series for the first time? How is your binge going? What was it like when you watched this jaw-dropping double feature for the first time?

It’s like yelling into the void sometimes — so if you’re out there, you’re watching ER again/too, or this first-time viewer’s emotional ER experience entertains you, holler back.
Comments, shares, and good vibes all keep this little ship afloat. Thanks for reading.

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