Jimmy Kimmel didn’t maintain again on Tuesday night time’s (January 7) episode of Jimmy Kimmel Dwell! as he delivered a scathing evaluation of President-elect Donald Trump‘s newest press convention.
“[Trump] gave a double-doozy of a press convention in the present day from Mar-a-Lago,” Kimmel stated in his opening monologue. “Over 72 minutes, he lined all the large points, together with his plan to rebrand the ocean itself.”
The late-night host then threw to a clip of Trump claiming his incoming administration would rename the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America,” which he described as “a wonderful identify.”
“Sure, what a wonderful identify you spent two seconds pondering up,” Kimmel responded. “He nonetheless has no well being care plan… he stayed up virtually all night time ingesting Weight loss plan Coke to give you the Gulf of America. And any further, tortillas might be often called ‘little spherical blankets.’”
Kimmel stated “the true gulf of America” is between those that “suppose Trump belongs within the White Home” and those that “suppose he belongs in a house.”
He then famous that Trump performed “all of the outdated hits” through the press convention, together with his claims that “windmills drive the whales loopy” and his situation with low water stress in showers.
In a clip from the presser, Trump complained about water popping out of showers “drip, drip, drip.”
“What a drips**t,” Kimmel retorted.
Kimmel additionally addressed Trump’s needs to “buy or simply declare” the nation of Greenland, which he at first took as a joke till “he despatched his son there to examine the merchandise.”
“Who even thinks about shopping for Greenland?” the comic requested. “Perhaps he needs to purchase Greenland so he can put Don Jr. in cost and go away him there ceaselessly.”
Kimmel added that he seemed up the language they communicate in Greenland, noting, “Over 70% of the inhabitants communicate Greenlandic, yeah… Greenlandic, that’s what they need to name Don Jr.”
Elsewhere on Tuesday’s present, Kimmel blasted Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg for “kissing Trump’s a** prefer it’s the Blarney Stone recently.”
This got here after Zuckerberg introduced on Tuesday that his firm would eliminate its fact-checking program in favor of neighborhood notes, relocate its moderation groups to Texas, and make Fb extra in step with Elon Musk‘s X.
“Oh, good, Fb’s going to be just like X,” Kimmel quipped. “No fact-checkers. That is like Del Taco saying they’re performed with well being inspections.”
“What has occurred?” he continued. “Think about being one of many wealthiest folks on this planet and making the choice to announce the top of reality as we all know it whereas dressed as Macklemore in 2014.”
After Zuckerberg stated Meta could be “Working with President Trump,” Kimmel said, “We name it the ol’ Suck and Zuck.”
“That is embarrassing,” he added. “I’m making an attempt to resolve which half is worse: Mark Zuckerberg simply flushing no matter dignity he had down Trump’s golden bathroom or the truth that he’s clearly transitioning into one of many Golden Ladies.”
You’ll be able to watch Kimmel’s full opening monologue within the video above.
Jimmy Kimmel Dwell!, Weeknights, 11:35pm ET/PT, ABC