As a professional theme park journalist, I am lucky enough to visit theme parks frequently. But I’m also a dad, and that means visiting theme parks with my children at least occasionally. Visiting Walt Disney World, or any other theme park, with kids can be a tightrope walk at the best of times, and even Jason Kelce knows it. So now I don’t feel quite so bad.
Jason Kelce and his family visited Walt Disney World recently, a not uncommon place for the family to vacation. On the latest edition of the New Heights podcast, Jason spent a decent portion of the early show complaining to his brother Travis about the complete meltdown that daughter Wyatt had over a waffle, saying…
I’m in a full fight with Wyatt over a fucking waffle. Ruins about 30 minutes of our entire day because she wants a whole waffle, and I’m trying to explain to her that there’s only four waffles and there’s fucking 15 people.
It’s not hard to tell that the Kelce family’s regular trips to Walt Disney World aren’t simply something they’re doing for the kids. The adults love the trips too, and as one of those “Disney Adults,” I feel this pain so much. Any time your kid decides to throw a fit over something silly, it can be frustrating. It only gets worse when they decide to do it in a way that messes with everyone else’s fun, both adults and other kids.
Last summer, I took my kids on a “real” Disneyland vacation, i.e. one that wasn’t attached to dad’s job in any way. I’ll admit, I was really worried the kids would have a hard time with it, not only because it would mean they wouldn’t have fun, but neither would I. After visiting Disney Parks without kids for decades, the first time I went to Disney World with children was a whole new experience.
If we’re being blunt, Jason Kelce’s kids probably have a pretty amazing Walt Disney World experience. As a retired NFL star, the guy made a lot of money, so he can afford to spoil his kids, and the ever-increasing costs at Disney World likely don’t faze him. That said, he apparently doesn’t do that, and more importantly, his kids couldn’t care less that dad’s a millionaire when the issue at hand is a distinct lack of Mickey waffles.
Of course, the good thing about your kids having meltdowns at Disney World is that you have backup. Disney World Cast Members are incredible, and they have more experience dealing with kids having a meltdown than most parents. One particular character apparently came in and was able to get Kelce’s daughter back on track. He continued…
You know who came in and saved the day? Jack Sparrow. Jack Sparrow came by, saved the fucking day. Whoever was being Jack Sparrow was the best version of Jack Sparrow. He nailed it.
Because let’s be honest, having a meltdown in front of mom and dad is fine, but no kid wants Captain Jack Sparrow to know they can’t keep their shit together.
So the next time my kids lose their cool at Disney World, or anywhere else for that matter, I’m going to remember that it happens to everybody, even Jason Kelce.