Sitcoms have thrived and died on their ability to get a quotable bit of dialogue injected into the collective conscience. Often, a single catchphrase or quotable piece of dialogue becomes seemingly timeless, which is why, decades after its release, people still recognize lines like “Did I do that?” and “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia” as originating from popular sitcoms. When it comes to the “funniest quotes” from a comedy, one can cast a wider net, particularly as shows like Seinfeld and The Office became an infinite source of hilarious, quotable bits of dialogue. That is to say, to pick a mere 20 quotes from the history of one of, if not the most popular TV genres, is a gargantuan task. Still, these are ones that resonated with us and fans alike.
Here are 20 of the funniest quotes in sitcom history
“I’m not a bit temperamental, I just cry a lot!” — Lucy Ricardo
‘I Love Lucy’ (1951 – 1957)
The line appearing in “Lucy’s Schedule,” Season 3, Episode 18, saw Lucy trying to adhere to a stricter schedule, only to have one of her iconic emotional outbursts when called temperamental. I Love Lucy is a landmark television show; it pushed the boundaries of the format and helped solidify the sitcom as a household staple, setting the groundwork for 1960s sitcom domination. Funnily enough, the most common quote attributed to the show, “Lucy, you got some splainin’ to do!” was never actually spoken and became popular through cultural osmosis.
“You know what? You’ve got spunk… I hate spunk!” — Lou Grant
‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’ (1970 – 1977)
Optimism in life is a great gift, but for those a bit more jaded, it can also be a bit of an annoyance. This quote from the very first episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show perfectly set up the type of relationship that the titular Mary would experience with her boss, Lou Grant, throughout the rest of the series run. The Mary Tyler Moore Show remains influential in its own right, approaching the sitcom format with a more mature and sophisticated angle that would later serve as a precursor to future classics like Cheers and Murphy Brown. At the same time, its workplace-based humor would influence modern classics like The Office.
“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” — Hawkeye Pierce
‘M*A*S*H’ (1972 – 1983)
For many, MASH* still stands as the landmark of the sitcom format, with little before or after it quite reaching the same heights as the wartime drama/comedy did. Despite this, what is often overlooked in discussions about the historical significance and fanfare surrounding the series’ mash-up of genres and eccentric characters is the numerous great one-liners it featured. Spoken in Season 9, Episode 18, “Letters,” this quote is just one of the many lines that demonstrate how human nature is to try to make light of things in the face of tragedy, as a way to cope with a situation.
“What you talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” — Arnold Jackson
‘Diff’rent Strokes’ (1978 – 1986)
While it was established as a catchphrase in the very first episode, the line from Arnold Jackson (Gary Coleman) has that perfect delivery that simultaneously makes it both hilarious and memorable. Street-smart sass mixed with innocence, Gary Coleman’s character was cemented into the collective conscience throughout the ’70s and ’80s, and loving remains there to this day. Diff’rent Strokes fame, however, was far from just this quotable one-liner, as the show used humor to tackle poignant issues of the era, including race, class, and family dynamics.
“It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.” — Norm Peterson
‘Cheers’ (1982 – 1993)
There is an undeniable romance in having that special place where you are always welcome and everyone knows your name. Cheers would become an endearing sitcom thanks to its celebration of outcasts and misfits who come together over drink and conversation. Of all the patrons, it is hard not to cheer for the constantly down-on-his-luck Norm, who, within the bar, had his own sort of infamy (many people know or have their own Norm in their lives). Norm (George Wendt) was also great at delivering hilarious, self-deprecating one-liners that showed humility and wit in his constant shortcomings; this quote from season 5, episode 22, titled “Bar Wars V: The Finale,” just happens to be one of the best.
“I’m the oldest. The matriarch. The legend.” — Sophia Petrillo
‘The Golden Girls’ (1985 – 1992)
Sometimes, humor can take the form of a proclamation, and with its tendency to make grander statements, celebrating womanhood and wisdom, The Golden Girls found itself a cult fandom; highly influential in queer culture, particularly for its mix of bravado, camp, and self-assurance. That is why this quote from Season 6, Episode 26, titled “Never Yell Fire in a Crowded Retirement Home (Part 2),” remains a favorite as it brings out the boldness in the show, which perfectly blends confidence and sarcasm. Delivered at a point when Sophia (Estelle Getty) is accused of starting a fire, the line could not be more perfectly timed and delivered.
“Serenity now!” — Frank Costanza
‘Seinfeld’ (1989 – 1998)
Picking a single quote from Seinfeld is a cumbersome task. However, the line “Serenity now!” has resonated long since the show’s cancellation, besides those who still opt to celebrate Festivus instead of Christmas. Made famous in Season 9, Episode 3, titled “The Serenity Now,” the quote also has the benefit of being yelled to comedic effect both by Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller), George, and Kramer. Meant as a stress-reducing mantra that only causes more stress, the quote perfectly encapsulates the sitcom’s absurdist and silly comedic stylings.
“I, For One, Welcome Our New Insect Overlords” — Kent Brockman
‘The Simpsons’ (1989 – Present)
Funny quotes from The Simpsons can be so situational and brilliant or absurd and non-sequitur that it is nearly impossible to pick just one. This line from season 6, episode 18, titled “Deep Space Homer,” hilariously touches on a lot of bases of what makes it so timeless. Kent Brockman’s claim, after learning Earth is losing the good fight against an alien species, is oddly applicable to a bevy of situations, from new management at work to a politician’s rise to power. At the same time, it is a particular comment on what is happening in the episode.
“I’m fine. It’s just a running joke that I’m not.” — Frasier Crane
‘Frasier’ (1993 – 2004)
Taken from Season 9, Episode 1, “Don Juan in Hell (Part 2),” this self-deprecating quip comes from Frasier after he is asked how he is doing upon reflecting on his romantic failings and emotional obsessions. The quote perfectly encapsulates the contemplative humor that made Frasier a staple of many people’s TV schedule for so many years, a hit of sadness but wittily delivered in a way that only Kelsey Grammer could do. It is a shame that Paramount+ would pull the 2023 revival of the show after only two seasons.
“Could I be wearing any more clothes?” — Joey Tribbiani
‘Friends’ (1994 – 2004)
There is arguably no character more quotable from Friends than Joey, the main reason he got his own spin-off (even if the show did not take off). It was the mix of confidence and stupidity that often made him a lovable idiot; though when it came down to it, he was always a loyal and passionate friend to lean on. Season 3, Episode 2, titled “The One Where No One’s Ready,” gives us one of the character’s funniest lines of dialogue as he enters into a prank war with Chandler. Appearing wearing Chandler’s entire wardrobe, Joey (Matt LeBlanc) perfectly delivers this one-liner that complements his absurd appearance.