Jen Hatmaker‘s new memoir, Awake, is creating headlines with its dialogue in regards to the breakdown of her marriage, and now her ex-husband, Brandon Hatmaker, is sharing his aspect of the story.
As reported earlier this week, in line with the New York Publish, Jen wrote in her guide that on July 11, 2020, at 2:30 a.m., she woke as much as the sound of Brandon whispering on the cellphone to a different lady. She mentioned he smelled of booze, and earlier than he drifted off to sleep, he whispered, “I simply can’t give up you.”
That second was “the tip of my life as I [knew] it” Jen added, noting that she kicked Brandon out of the home the following morning, successfully bringing an finish to their 26-year marriage. The previous couple married in 1993 and went on to welcome 5 kids, two of whom had been adopted from Ethiopia. They based the evangelical Austin New Church in Texas in 2008 and hosted the HGTV collection My Huge Household Renovation in 2014.
On Monday (September 22), Brandon posted a prolonged response on Substack, sharing his aspect of the story, in addition to making it clear that his present spouse, Tina, will not be the lady he had an affair with.
“The bottom second of my life was my very public affair 5 years in the past. I precipitated a lot ache and I introduced a lot humiliation into the lives of those who I liked,” Brandon wrote. “It was the end result of a three-year private spiral wherein I had misplaced my anchor, felt no hope, and was the loneliest I’ve ever been in my life.”
He continued, “Whereas that was the bottom second of my life, a really shut second, is having to relive it at the moment. Even tougher, to observe others who I really like – due to my failures – having to do the identical. I’ve owned my errors, I’ve made amends, I proceed to do the work, I’ve labored laborious to revive relationships, and I’ve began over.”
Brandon and Jen Hatmaker; Jen Hatmaker Fb
Brandon mentioned his submit isn’t about making “excuses” however merely to “add context to a handful of areas the place the overwhelming majority, and almost each new follower, is lacking.”
“There are not any excuses. Nothing could make this unsuitable a proper. However I do hope it to be useful if a few of you end up in my story. Perhaps it’s going to prevent some heartbreak,” he acknowledged. “The reality is that folks in a wholesome marriage don’t simply get up sooner or later and determine to have an affair. I didn’t fall out of affection in a single day. Our relationship was coming to a gradual and painful ending. And I privately mourned the loss of life of our marriage years earlier than our divorce.”
He added that “Jen has each proper to share her piece of the story,” however famous that “there are some truths disregarded that paint a false narrative on subjects which can be actually vital to me. I’m not saying what she wrote is unfaithful. I’m saying that what’s left unsaid isn’t her accountability to inform. The one one who can do this, is me.”
One factor Brandon needed to clear up was his relationship together with his kids. He needed readers to know he didn’t abandon 5 younger kids on the time of the affair.
“To be clear, on the time of our divorce we had three grownup youngsters and two youngsters,” he mentioned. “I do know that I endlessly modified their story, however I used to be at all times accessible, was consistently engaged, and at all times supported them… and nonetheless do.”
He additionally disputed being a pastor on the time of the affair, claiming, “It had been years since I had been a pastor. In three years time, I had develop into a really damaged and misplaced man who had given up.”
Brandon additionally responded to claims that he was “chilly” or “uncaring” after the affair was uncovered, writing, “On the early morning the whole lot occurred, Jen gave me the ultimatum to share your entire reality proper in that second, I simply keep in mind not desirous to say something that I couldn’t unsay, so I left. After a day or two we sat down and I shared the whole lot.”
He additionally revealed it was Jen who instructed him, “‘There is no such thing as a path again to reconnection.”‘
“That closed the guide for me,” he mentioned. “From that second on my focus was my youngsters and my future. Not lengthy after that I met Tina. She could have saved my life. Not figuratively, however actually. That’s one other story I hope to share sooner or later.”
Brandon additionally reiterated that “under no circumstances was Tina concerned or part of my divorce in 2020,” noting, “Jen verifies this in her guide. To be clear, Tina and I had by no means met till after the divorce was filed. This was additionally after Jen instructed me that for her ‘there was no path again to reconnection.’”