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    Home»Hollywood»32 Humorous Nate Bargatze Quotes From The Comic’s Stand-Up
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    32 Humorous Nate Bargatze Quotes From The Comic’s Stand-Up

    David GroveBy David GroveJune 27, 202513 Mins Read
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    32 Humorous Nate Bargatze Quotes From The Comic’s Stand-Up
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    What’s it that has made Nate Bargatze one of the vital well-liked comedians of his time? Some may argue it’s the Tennessee native and household man’s likable everyman high quality, whereas others may say it’s his skill to be completely hilarious with out ever resorting to filth in his routine. You’ll be able to collect spherical the entire household to take a look at a few of the funniest issues the stand-up has mentioned on stage to this point, beneath.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in SNL

    (Picture credit score: NBC)

    “I am As Shocked As You Are That I am Right here”

    Nate Bargatze was nonetheless not fairly a family identify within the stand-up world in 2023 when he first hosted Saturday Night time Reside (and performed George Washington in a beloved sketch). Nevertheless, he instantly gained over the Studio 8H crowd in his personal self-deprecating means, declaring how stunned he’s to obtain the chance to grace this iconic stage because the emcee.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Your Friend, Nate Bargatze

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “They Known as Him ‘Two Thumbs Bargatze’… As a result of He Had Two Thumbs On One Hand. However He Nonetheless Had The Different Thumb. So, It is Not Even A Good Nickname”

    Whereas showing in a particular referred to as Brad Paisley’s Comedy Rodeo, which is offered with a Netflix subscription, Nate Bargatze recalled the story of one among his most amusing ancestors. He explains how “Two Thumbs Bargatze” earned his nickname because of an uncommon delivery defect, whereas additionally declaring how the moniker doesn’t fairly add up when you concentrate on it.


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    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in The Tennessee Kid

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “This Is What Marriage Feels Like, What It Feels Like In Right here Proper Now. It is Simply One Particular person Speaking And The Different’s Like, ‘I am Gonna Get Out Of Right here'”

    Nate Bargatze usually discusses his life as a married man in his comedy routine. On this bit, he truly factors out how that form of kinship just isn’t an entire lot completely different from performing stand-up.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up on The Stand-Ups

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “You Ever Ask Somebody That Has Youngsters, ‘When’s The Finest Time Of Your Life?’ They Will Say Earlier than They Have Youngsters Or After Their Youngsters Transfer Out”

    Nate Bargatze can also be a father to a daughter named Harper, who introduces him in the beginning of all of his specials (save his comedy particular on Paramount+, Full Time Magic, which initially aired on Comedy Central in 2015). It’s clear he loves his daughter, however has additionally by no means shied away from discussing the struggles of parenting in his routine, typically from the angle of different dad and mom he has met, like on this bit.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Hello World

    (Picture credit score: Amazon Prime)

    “I Ordered The P90X Movies. I Thought I May Do That. By no means Labored Out A Day In My Life, So Let’s Do What The Navy Seals Do”

    Well being and health is one other recurring matter in Nate Bargatze’s materials, particularly his reluctance to eat wholesome or keep match. Nevertheless, he mentions one time that he did try and undertake a brand new exercise routine, however one which may have been somewhat too excessive for him on the time.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Your Friend, Nate Bargatze

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “[My Wife] At all times Tells Me I Do not Pay attention… I’ve Heard That Each Time, However…”

    Why is it that spouses, principally cisgender males married to ladies, have such a troublesome time paying attention to the particular person they’ve dedicated their whole lives to? Even when Nate Bargatze had realized the reply at one level, it in all probability went in a single ear and out the opposite.

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    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in The Tennessee Kid

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “No One Has A Good Day On Fb. It is Everyone’s Worst Days Of Their Lives”

    Consultants have devoted their numerous hours to analyzing and explaining the detrimental societal impression of social media, however Nate Bargatze manages to sum it up in simply a few sentences.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Full Time Magic

    (Picture credit score: Comedy Central)

    “He Has The World File For Being Bitten By A Viper Snake. It is Seven Occasions, Which Is A File No One Is Making an attempt to Get”

    Earlier than he headlined his personal Netflix comedy specials, Nate Bargatze made his debut on the platform in 2017 in an episode of The Standups. In it, he performs one among his most well-known bits, by which he recollects his go to to the Cape Worry Serpentarium, which is run by an eccentric reptile knowledgeable with a singular popularity.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Hello World

    (Picture credit score: Amazon Prime)

    Nate Bargatze’s alma mater is Volunteer State Neighborhood Faculty, which is, certainly, situated in his native neighborhood. Nevertheless, he can say he did beat the percentages by happening to hit it huge as a comic.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Full Time Magic

    (Picture credit score: Comedy Central)

    “I Went Into Starbucks, Ordered An Iced Espresso With Milk… He Provides Me Milk With Ice In It”

    One among Nate Bargatze’s most revered bits is the story of his botched Starbucks order, which he can’t think about anybody of their proper thoughts would need to drink. He later supplied an replace to the story in his 2019 Netflix particular, The Tennessee Child, by which he reveals he up to date his order to “iced espresso with cream,” however even that obtained ruined when a barista assumed he wished whipped cream.

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    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Hello World

    (Picture credit score: Amazon Prime)

    “When We Noticed [The Sixth Sense] For The First Time… We Simply Thought His Spouse Wasn’t Speaking To Him For, Like, A 12 months. That Made Extra Sense To Us Than Him Probably Being Lifeless”

    Within the years because the horror film basic The Sixth Sense was launched in 1999, folks have claimed that they noticed the twist from the M. Night time Shyamalan film coming the entire time. Nevertheless, after listening to Nate Bargatze’s tackle Dr. Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) and his bother speaking along with his spouse, Anna (Olivia Williams), I’m not so positive I imagine them.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in The Tennessee Kid

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “I Do not Know A Lot. Making It This Far Has Been Nice”

    There should not very many stand-ups who can pull off a self-effacing type of comedy fairly so successfully as Nate Bargatze. There’s something charming about his willingness to color himself as an aimless dolt getting by purely on luck.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Your Friend, Nate Bargatze

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “My Spouse Will get Mad As a result of I Do not Like Any Of her [Facebook] Pictures… It is Like, ‘Is This Not Sufficient, Us Dwelling Collectively And Stuff?'”

    Including on to this joke, Nate Bargatze mentions how he informed his spouse that he did just like the images she later shared on-line once they have been taken, making it pointless for him to click on the “Like” button on Fb. That technique has actually labored for me.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Nate Bargatze's Nashville Christmas

    (Picture credit score: CBS)

    “I Do not Know Something About Historical past, And I Can Inform As a result of Each Historical past Film I Watch, I Watch On The Edge Of My Seat”

    Actually, I believe Nate Bargatze has the appropriate concept relating to watching cinematic dramatizations of historic occasions or music biopics. It’s best to go in with a recent mindset… after which debunk the fabricated particulars later.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up on The Stand-Ups

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “I Acquired Pushed Into A Wall Headfirst And I Took Them Three Class Durations To Determine Out I Had A Concussion. That is How A lot I Was Bringing To The Desk”

    Think about struggling a mind-inhibiting head harm, and neither your lecturers nor classmates would have the ability to inform if something was completely different from the way you normally behave. It feels like highschool actually was tough for Nate Bargatze.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in The Tennessee Kid

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “I Did A Present In Jail As soon as… I am Sitting Right here, Doing My Dumb Jokes, None Of Them Work. Each Joke I Have Entails Being Exterior In The Previous 30 Years”

    Regardless of how a lot Nate Bargatze should have struggled whereas performing for incarcerated people, he seemingly didn’t bomb wherever almost as badly as Jerry Seinfeld within the sequence finale of Seinfeld, and he was telling jokes to his fellow inmates then.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Your Friend, Nate Bargatze

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    In protection of Nate Bargatze, it’s a unusual factor to ask a comic concerning the instructional necessities concerned with pursuing their line of labor. Now, there may be such a factor as a collegiate diploma in comedy, as I actually simply found, nevertheless it’s not like golf equipment are asking to see your credentials earlier than they comply with allow you to carry out at open mic night time.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up on The Stand-Ups

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “I Learn Each Guide Because the Reality… And From What I Can Inform, We Have A Fairly Large Wizard Downside In This Nation Proper Now”

    I ponder if Nate Bargatze ever watches the Harry Potter motion pictures and notices how properly the solid resembles The Boy Who Lived and his pals.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in The Tennessee Kid

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “I Was Like, ‘Laura, I Do not Know If You Even Know What An Airport Is, However If That Airplane Was In Our Driveway, I Do not Suppose You May Make It”

    That is how Nate Bargatze responded to his spouse, Laura, when he was planning to satisfy he at an airport, requested when she was leaving and she or he mentioned, “Midday,” nevertheless it was already 11:30 a.m. It seems she was referring to when she deliberate to depart for the airport. That prompted him to level out that he was undoubtedly referring to the time of the flight.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in The Greatest Average American

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “I am At all times Making an attempt To Lose Weight, And Then You Suppose, ‘I am going to Tape A Particular… That’ll Do It…’ Subsequent Factor You Know, It is Already Began”

    I believe there are lots of individuals who can relate to Nate Bargatze’s ache when he expresses his wrestle with discovering the appropriate motivation to get in form, particularly one which provides a time restrict.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Your Friend, Nate Bargatze

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “The Man’s Like, ‘I am John. This Is My Spouse, Jane.’ And Their Final Title Was ‘Doe…’ Could not Imagine It. Reduce To Earlier This 12 months. I am 35. I am Driving… I Was Like, ‘I Guess They Had been Mendacity To Me About That'”

    This joke comes from Nate Bargatze’s story from when he was working at Nashville’s Opryland theme park, and he met a pair who might need been pulling his leg about their identities. He provides that he tried to search for John and Jane Doe to study of their whereabouts, solely to search out they have been murdered.

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    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Nate Bargatze's Nashville Christmas

    (Picture credit score: CBS)

    “I Cannot Get Robbed As a result of, If Some Man’s Like, ‘Let’s Go To The ATM,’ It is Like, ‘Effectively, I Guess We Acquired To Wait For My Spouse To Get Right here”

    A whole lot of Nate Bargatze’s routines reference the truth that his spouse is the one who runs issues round the home and in his life, together with holding monitor of his banking info. That’s truthfully a fairly splendid association they’ve, on his half, particularly.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Your Friend, Nate Bargatze

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “Being A Contractor, That is A Nice Job To Have. As a result of You Can Simply Break Somebody’s Life And Go away”

    I can’t inform you simply how seen I felt by this joke. I’d not be stunned if the contractor who impressed Nate Bargatze to put in writing this bit was the identical particular person my household and I as soon as handled, as a result of it genuinely appears as if sabotaging our livelihood was his finish purpose.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in The Tennessee Kid

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “If I Went Again In Time, Understanding Every little thing I Know Now, I Do not Suppose I Would Make A Distinction”

    I’d be very reluctant to journey to the previous if given the chance, worrying about how simply one mistake I make might severely alter the current. Nevertheless, I’d really feel extra snug if my time journey associate was Nate Bargatze and I let him deal with all of the speaking. It isn’t like something probably catastrophic would slip out of his mouth.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Full Time Magic

    (Picture credit score: Comedy Central)

    “[My Wife And I] Used To Watch That Present The Superb Race Collectively. She Was At all times Like, ‘Oh, We Ought to Do That.’ I Stated, ‘Look, If You Need To Get Divorced On Reside TV, Let’s Do It'”

    In response to CheatSheet, fairly a number of {couples} who participated on The Superb Race collectively have since cut up up, so I’d take this Nate Bargatze joke as one thing of a warning.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Hello World

    (Picture credit score: Amazon Prime)

    “I Know That She’ll Be Smarter Than Me Subsequent 12 months And Then Simply For The Relaxation Of Her Life, So I Am Actually Sticking It To Her Whereas I Can”

    On this bit, Nate Bargatze admits that he has relished in with the ability to speak all the way down to his daughter earlier than she matures and, inevitably turns into the smarter one between the 2 of them.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Your Friend, Nate Bargatze

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “Our Canine Is At all times Pulling Us On The Leash… My Neighbor’s Canine Does not Do That… He Stated, ‘We Purchased One Of These Choke Collars… That Stab The Canine’s Neck…’ I Was Like…, ‘So, If I Do not Have That, Ought to I Simply Maintain A Machete Beneath Her Throat?'”

    Given how Nate Bargatze describes choke collars, I think about there are additionally canine in all places who would very a lot recognize Nate Bargatze’s joke concerning the product.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Nate Bargatze's Nashville Christmas

    (Picture credit score: CBS)

    “Your 20s Are Nice… Your Associates Name You. They’re Like, ‘Do You Need To Go?’ You are Like, ‘I am going to Go.’ You Do not Even Know The place You are Going… Your 30s Come And You are Like, ‘The place Are We Going?’… Your 40s, You are Like, ‘I am Not Going'”

    On the time I write this, I’m in my early 30s and might verify that my pals and I are much more strategic about our assembly plans than we ever have been within the earlier decade of our lives. Part of me is definitely wanting ahead to my 40s so I can observe the Nate Bargatze philosophy and simply keep residence.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in The Greatest Average American

    (Picture credit score: Netflix)

    “Chuck E. Cheese Is Tough. I Do not Know If You have Been There In A Whereas. They Look Like They’re Making an attempt to Go Out Of Enterprise, And They Cannot”

    I keep in mind being curious how Chuck E. Cheese was managing within the period of COVID-19, and my assumptions of how issues have to be going have been fairly correct to Nate Bargatze’s replace on the matter on this joke from his 2021 Netflix particular, The Biggest Common American.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Hello World

    (Picture credit score: Amazon Prime)

    “I Nonetheless Do Not Sleep With Socks On As a result of My Dad Advised Me My Ft Cannot Breathe Once I Was A Child. I Nonetheless Imagine That, So You Guess I May Speak To A Faux Lady For Fairly A Whereas”

    That is Nate Bargatze’s means of explaining how simply he might fall for a Catfish scenario.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Nate Bargatze's Nashville Christmas

    (Picture credit score: CBS)

    “Marriage And Jail Are The Two Best Locations To Begin A Combat”

    I don’t imagine Nate Bargatze is any means suggesting that marriage is like being in jail, however the best way he acknowledges how readily battle can come up in both scenario is sort of fascinating.

    Nate Bargatze performing stand-up in Full Time Magic

    (Picture credit score: Comedy Central)

    “Free Vary Is Hen That is Allowed To Roam Free. Clearly Not At The Retailer. It is Lifeless At The Retailer, However They Nonetheless Have A Record Of His Hobbies On The Bundle”

    I want not to think about the life that an animal as soon as had earlier than I devour it, however now Nate Bargatze could have ruined that for me perpetually with this intelligent bit.



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